The Voice of the Unity

Vengeance is a Cruel Mistress

The Case of the Exploding Apocalypse

with one comment

I’m out scanning down people as I usually do when I find an Apocalypse doing an Angel Extravaganza Level 4 with his best buddy in a salvaging Harbinger by his side. I start grabbing stuff, as I tend to do. Nothing really happens until another pilot in a Punisher warps in and loots a wreck. Then all hell breaks loose.

The Apocalypse pilot starts to shoot the Punisher, which returns fire but is unable to break the Apoc’s huge mission-based tank. I strike up a conversation with the Punisher pilot (Saria Dehmov), who informs me that she has corpmates on the way with a gank Brutix. “They should be here in about 20 minutes.” she states.

20 minutes later there’s no sign of her corpmates, nor of the Apocalypse’s tank breaking, so we start debating alternate ways to blow it up. Most of them involve flying another ship in and switching ships quickly to proceed with a gank, especially since the Apoc pilot doesn’t seem to want to engage.

I offer my Armageddon, but the 200 mil collateral is a bit rich, so we think of other ways to do it. There’s no way I’m letting it out of the hangar without it though, so we start to think of different ships that could get the job done. Since I have a spare Arbitrator a few jumps away and a Guardian in this system, I decide to fit it out in a great team-gank fit.

1600mm Reinforced Rolled Tungsten Plates I
Energized Adaptive Nano Membrane II x2
Damage Control II

Faint Epsilon Warp Scrambler I
Tracking Disruptor II
10MN Afterburner II
Sensor Booster II

Small Energy Neutralizer II x4

Medium Trimark Armor Pump I x3

Hammerhead II x10
Valkyrie II x5

At this point, it’s been approximately one hour, 45 minutes since we started this fight. I warp into the mission in the sleek Arbitrator, rocking through the gates as fast as I can, and zip in to sit right up next to the Punisher. Quickly ejecting, I let Saria take control of the Arbitrator, cautioning her to keep the neuts off until I’d gotten back in with my Guardian, then warp out. She locks down the Apocalypse and engages the tracking disruptor, keeping him from hitting her very much at all while she waits.

A minute or so later, I’m screaming through the gates in my Guardian, Penirgman’s sun flashing off the red and gold of the hull. Setting up to orbit the Apocalypse at 65km, I engage the afterburner, then target the Arbitrator and toggle on 1 remote armor repairer and the remote capacitor booster. Saria flicks on the Arbitrator’s 4 small neutralizers, starting the work of draining the Apocalypse’s huge capacitor reservoir. Suddenly, my Guardian is under fire by the Apocalypse, but the lasers wildly flicker all about the hull without damaging it, the range too great for even Radio crystals and the Apocalypse’s own range bonus.

Soon enough, the huge guns fall silent, repair ceases, and the Hammerhead IIs tear through the Apocalypse’s armor – it’s no match for them with all the capacitor gone.

The following conversation follows shortly thereafter:

[ 2009.12.11 18:51:09 ] Saria Dehmov > Welcome friend
[ 2009.12.11 18:51:13 ] Saria Dehmov > Let us discuss eh?
[ 2009.12.11 18:51:26 ] horpaskron > ^^
[ 2009.12.11 18:51:36 ] horpaskron > you got 25 mil
[ 2009.12.11 18:51:42 ] Saria Dehmov > I feel that 25 now and 25 later doesn’t give us much incentive to let you go what do you think Merii?
[ 2009.12.11 18:51:46 ] Merii Kha’sen > nope
[ 2009.12.11 18:51:48 ] Merii Kha’sen > he won’t pay
[ 2009.12.11 18:51:53 ] Merii Kha’sen > and that ship is worth more than 25
[ 2009.12.11 18:51:53 ] Saria Dehmov > I agree
[ 2009.12.11 18:51:56 ] Merii Kha’sen > even with insurance
[ 2009.12.11 18:51:57 ] horpaskron > ah well you won´t stop^^
[ 2009.12.11 18:52:07 ] horpaskron > so
[ 2009.12.11 18:52:07 ] Merii Kha’sen > nah, it’s bad for business if we don’t let you go
[ 2009.12.11 18:52:13 ] Saria Dehmov > exactly
[ 2009.12.11 18:52:18 ] Merii Kha’sen > so that’s how you know we’ll let you go
[ 2009.12.11 18:52:22 ] Saria Dehmov > Rep is rather important or no one pays:)
[ 2009.12.11 18:52:45 ] horpaskron > hmk
[ 2009.12.11 18:52:52 ] horpaskron > i´ll pay the other 25
[ 2009.12.11 18:53:00 ] Saria Dehmov > Thank you.
[ 2009.12.11 18:53:11 ] horpaskron > you got it

Oh dear. It’s ninja time! Note – it’s not bad for my business really. Just for lowsec/0.0 pirates who try to use that to justify ransoms to their targets.

[ 2009.12.11 18:53:25 ] Merii Kha’sen > SUDDENLY
[ 2009.12.11 18:53:26 ] Merii Kha’sen > BETRAYAL
[ 2009.12.11 18:53:28 ] Saria Dehmov > and thanks for the loot 🙂
[ 2009.12.11 18:53:33 ] Merii Kha’sen > Vengeance is a cruel mistress.
[ 2009.12.11 18:53:51 ] horpaskron > thought yo´d do that^^
[ 2009.12.11 18:54:08 ] Saria Dehmov > sometimes yes sometimes no
[ 2009.12.11 18:54:14 ] Saria Dehmov > cockyness kinda tips the scales
[ 2009.12.11 18:54:17 ] Merii Kha’sen > You just got ninja’d, son.
[ 2009.12.11 18:54:30 ] horpaskron > so gf^^ fly safe

I love dishonoring ransoms. So much. The Apocalypse pops a few seconds later, still being drained of cap and unable to retaliate. The pod warps off shortly thereafter.

The only thing left is the cleanup, at that point.

A few minutes later, this lovely evemail gets sent to Saria:

From: horpaskron
Sent: 2009.12.11 19:17
To: Saria Dehmov,

Well, im really sorry I paid you. this is the one thing that realy gets to me^^ Should have known better. Well,. til next time. hopefully with changed roles^^

Oh and by the way: I still ain´t mad at ya, so no swearing, flaming or something^^ you taught me a valuable lesson at least^^

Best regards

Oh snap, delicious tears to top it off. “Hopefully with changed roles.” Bwahahaha. A perfect end to a two hour saga of asskicking.


Written by Merii Kha'sen

December 11, 2009 at 7:33 pm

Posted in Combat, Tears

One Response

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  1. I wholeheartedly endorse this message, in the name of punishers, guardians, ninja’s, neuts and the occasional carebare tear. *tips hat Merii for making this possible* *Frowns at corpmates for fail*

    Saria Dehmov

    December 11, 2009 at 7:41 pm

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