[ 2009.12.13 17:09:18 ] Seleastra > Merii Kha’sen
[ 2009.12.13 17:09:26 ] Merii Kha’sen > NO U

Then the other missioner from the first AE pipes up:

[ 2009.12.13 17:12:05 ] Meta2 > f’in loser ninja salvagers… get your own mission to salvage
[ 2009.12.13 17:12:12 ] Meta2 > it aint that hard
[ 2009.12.13 17:12:34 ] Merii Kha’sen > NO U
[ 2009.12.13 17:13:02 ] Meta2 > i aint lootin… lol
[ 2009.12.13 17:13:18 ] Meta2 > thieves … get yer own lvl 4
[ 2009.12.13 17:13:38 ] Merii Kha’sen > problem is
[ 2009.12.13 17:13:40 ] Merii Kha’sen > it’s not your stuff
[ 2009.12.13 17:13:44 ] Merii Kha’sen > so I’m not stealing anything
[ 2009.12.13 17:13:48 ] Meta2 > yeah … it is
[ 2009.12.13 17:13:56 ] Merii Kha’sen > the salvage is not yours, AS STATED BY CCP

It is, too! See the forum post about it.

[ 2009.12.13 17:13:59 ] Master Spor > goons
[ 2009.12.13 17:14:10 ] Meta2 > yeah… i killed it…
[ 2009.12.13 17:14:14 ] Meta2 > it is mine
[ 2009.12.13 17:14:18 ] Merii Kha’sen > no…
[ 2009.12.13 17:14:21 ] Meta2 > next time… we just blow it all up
[ 2009.12.13 17:14:23 ] Merii Kha’sen > if you got an aggro timer, it would be yours
[ 2009.12.13 17:14:31 ] Meta2 > to make sure u don’t get a thing
[ 2009.12.13 17:14:38 ] Merii Kha’sen > and neither do you, then
[ 2009.12.13 17:14:43 ] Lucian Thetis > lol
[ 2009.12.13 17:14:45 ] Merii Kha’sen > good luck blowing up 30% of your income
[ 2009.12.13 17:14:50 ] Meta2 > can live without

Oh! These grapes are so sour!

[ 2009.12.13 17:14:59 ] Meta2 > have 1.5 billion bank… no prob
[ 2009.12.13 17:15:04 ] Merii Kha’sen > is that all?
[ 2009.12.13 17:15:12 ] Merii Kha’sen > shit, I feel sorry for you
[ 2009.12.13 17:15:13 ] Meta2 > all i need for now
[ 2009.12.13 17:15:16 ] Yrin’Aar > lol, it’s not their profit if you’ve ninja-salvaged it
[ 2009.12.13 17:15:34 ] Meta2 > least i dont have to steal others stuff
[ 2009.12.13 17:15:38 ] Meta2 > to make a living
[ 2009.12.13 17:15:41 ] Meta2 >
[ 2009.12.13 17:15:57 ] Merii Kha’sen > man, I do it because of bears like you.
[ 2009.12.13 17:16:02 ] Merii Kha’sen > that cry and whine in local
[ 2009.12.13 17:16:05 ] Merii Kha’sen > your tears fuel my ship.
[ 2009.12.13 17:16:10 ] Meta2 > your a dirtbag then
[ 2009.12.13 17:16:21 ] Merii Kha’sen > oh god, keep talking, reactor is almost full
[ 2009.12.13 17:16:28 ] Meta2 > u get off on making the game less fun for others
[ 2009.12.13 17:16:34 ] Merii Kha’sen > 99.38%…
[ 2009.12.13 17:16:40 ] Merii Kha’sen > yeah, I really do
[ 2009.12.13 17:16:46 ] Merii Kha’sen > if you cry about it, I feel happy
[ 2009.12.13 17:16:53 ] Runawaypally > leave the arse alone meta, hes just baiting u
[ 2009.12.13 17:16:54 ] Meta2 > what a life… i ain’t crying
[ 2009.12.13 17:16:56 ] Yrin’Aar > New Eden is a brutal, harsh place…

And full of people who will take your things!

[ 2009.12.13 17:17:02 ] Commander Shallow > Why do you ninja salvagers have to ruin the game for people like us? I bet you were bullied as a kid

Counter-trolling. I know him, and I know he’s not serious.

[ 2009.12.13 17:17:03 ] Meta2 > i can still play
[ 2009.12.13 17:17:08 ] Meta2 > and you arent stopping me
[ 2009.12.13 17:17:16 ] Merii Kha’sen > I don’t want you to stop
[ 2009.12.13 17:17:23 ] Merii Kha’sen > I can’t make money off your efforts if you do
[ 2009.12.13 17:17:32 ] Merii Kha’sen > You have exposed my life for what it is, Shallow
[ 2009.12.13 17:17:33 ] Meta2 > i’d bet i’d f u up the rear with a baseball bat now though

I’m so scared? I guess?

[ 2009.12.13 17:17:34 ] Grand Formage > small people must make others small so they can feel bigger
[ 2009.12.13 17:18:05 ] Merii Kha’sen > Your psychological analysis based on 3 sentences is superb
[ 2009.12.13 17:18:11 ] Merii Kha’sen > you should get a 1-900 number
[ 2009.12.13 17:18:39 ] Meta2 > why sure… then youd be on it… wanking…
[ 2009.12.13 17:18:53 ] Meta2 > i’d be earning 100 an hour
[ 2009.12.13 17:18:57 ] Meta2 >
[ 2009.12.13 17:20:04 ] Merii Kha’sen > so wait
[ 2009.12.13 17:20:12 ] Merii Kha’sen > you’re saying you sell the ISK you make from running missions?

Let’s see if I can bait a trap here and make him say something dumb.

[ 2009.12.13 17:20:29 ] Meta2 > no… i dont ordinarily loot
[ 2009.12.13 17:20:39 ] Grand Formage > it is just sad that you must do ill to others to feel successful.  another example why the RL  is as it is.
[ 2009.12.13 17:20:52 ] Meta2 > what trying to get me to violate game rules? lol… whatever

No? Oh well.

[ 2009.12.13 17:21:19 ] Master Spor > shut up you idiots
[ 2009.12.13 17:21:29 ] Master Spor > your nothing in eve, a bunch of carebears living in high sec
[ 2009.12.13 17:21:39 ] Meta2 > my heart bleeds master….
[ 2009.12.13 17:21:44 ] Master Spor > so stop your dumb argument over worthless scrap metal
[ 2009.12.13 17:21:52 ] Master Spor > no shit meta2 you would be dead if it didnt
[ 2009.12.13 17:22:04 ] Meta2 > why not… starting shit can be fun
[ 2009.12.13 17:22:36 ] Meta2 > oh wow a 4 month old
[ 2009.12.13 17:22:45 ] Grand Formage > if you are so MANLY go play in 0.0 or higsec.  or does you manhood only show when you have to mess up others happiness
[ 2009.12.13 17:23:06 ] Merii Kha’sen > TROPE ALERT
[ 2009.12.13 17:23:09 ] Merii Kha’sen > TROPE ALERT
[ 2009.12.13 17:23:39 ] Yrin’Aar > No keep it going guys, I love watching trolling fallout!
[ 2009.12.13 17:23:57 ] Merii Kha’sen > “The only “real” <whatever eve playstyle> Is in 0.0″
[ 2009.12.13 17:24:41 ] Grand Formage > then why are ou not playing the REAL game tough guy

I accidentally the sarcasm I think. Is this bad?

[ 2009.12.13 17:24:51 ] Kingwood > wat is 0.0? emoticon open eyse?
[ 2009.12.13 17:24:51 ] Merii Kha’sen > I’m sorry
[ 2009.12.13 17:24:53 ] Meta2 > yeah… head out to 0.0
[ 2009.12.13 17:24:56 ] Meta2 > lol
[ 2009.12.13 17:25:01 ] Merii Kha’sen > I think your sarcasm detector is broken
[ 2009.12.13 17:25:06 ] Merii Kha’sen > note the quotes, dear
[ 2009.12.13 17:25:19 ] Meta2 > i think he is in love with you div
[ 2009.12.13 17:25:27 ] Meta2 > i love merii too
[ 2009.12.13 17:25:31 ] Merii Kha’sen > Everyone loves Merii
[ 2009.12.13 17:25:34 ] Meta2 > i want to plug his ass

It just devolved from there – no more real tears, just vulgar expressions of how he wishes to insert objects into my rectum.

Disclaimer: Unity Exploration does not endorse or support any views found in these external blogs, except the ones about taking people’s things and blowing them up.

The Apocalypse pilot starts to shoot the Punisher, which returns fire but is unable to break the Apoc’s huge mission-based tank. I strike up a conversation with the Punisher pilot (Saria Dehmov), who informs me that she has corpmates on the way with a gank Brutix. “They should be here in about 20 minutes.” she states.

20 minutes later there’s no sign of her corpmates, nor of the Apocalypse’s tank breaking, so we start debating alternate ways to blow it up. Most of them involve flying another ship in and switching ships quickly to proceed with a gank, especially since the Apoc pilot doesn’t seem to want to engage.

I offer my Armageddon, but the 200 mil collateral is a bit rich, so we think of other ways to do it. There’s no way I’m letting it out of the hangar without it though, so we start to think of different ships that could get the job done. Since I have a spare Arbitrator a few jumps away and a Guardian in this system, I decide to fit it out in a great team-gank fit.

1600mm Reinforced Rolled Tungsten Plates I
Energized Adaptive Nano Membrane II x2
Damage Control II

Faint Epsilon Warp Scrambler I
Tracking Disruptor II
10MN Afterburner II
Sensor Booster II

Small Energy Neutralizer II x4

Medium Trimark Armor Pump I x3

Hammerhead II x10
Valkyrie II x5

At this point, it’s been approximately one hour, 45 minutes since we started this fight. I warp into the mission in the sleek Arbitrator, rocking through the gates as fast as I can, and zip in to sit right up next to the Punisher. Quickly ejecting, I let Saria take control of the Arbitrator, cautioning her to keep the neuts off until I’d gotten back in with my Guardian, then warp out. She locks down the Apocalypse and engages the tracking disruptor, keeping him from hitting her very much at all while she waits.

A minute or so later, I’m screaming through the gates in my Guardian, Penirgman’s sun flashing off the red and gold of the hull. Setting up to orbit the Apocalypse at 65km, I engage the afterburner, then target the Arbitrator and toggle on 1 remote armor repairer and the remote capacitor booster. Saria flicks on the Arbitrator’s 4 small neutralizers, starting the work of draining the Apocalypse’s huge capacitor reservoir. Suddenly, my Guardian is under fire by the Apocalypse, but the lasers wildly flicker all about the hull without damaging it, the range too great for even Radio crystals and the Apocalypse’s own range bonus.

Soon enough, the huge guns fall silent, repair ceases, and the Hammerhead IIs tear through the Apocalypse’s armor – it’s no match for them with all the capacitor gone.

The following conversation follows shortly thereafter:

[ 2009.12.11 18:51:09 ] Saria Dehmov > Welcome friend
[ 2009.12.11 18:51:13 ] Saria Dehmov > Let us discuss eh?
[ 2009.12.11 18:51:26 ] horpaskron > ^^
[ 2009.12.11 18:51:36 ] horpaskron > you got 25 mil
[ 2009.12.11 18:51:42 ] Saria Dehmov > I feel that 25 now and 25 later doesn’t give us much incentive to let you go what do you think Merii?
[ 2009.12.11 18:51:46 ] Merii Kha’sen > nope
[ 2009.12.11 18:51:48 ] Merii Kha’sen > he won’t pay
[ 2009.12.11 18:51:53 ] Merii Kha’sen > and that ship is worth more than 25
[ 2009.12.11 18:51:53 ] Saria Dehmov > I agree
[ 2009.12.11 18:51:56 ] Merii Kha’sen > even with insurance
[ 2009.12.11 18:51:57 ] horpaskron > ah well you won´t stop^^
[ 2009.12.11 18:52:07 ] horpaskron > so
[ 2009.12.11 18:52:07 ] Merii Kha’sen > nah, it’s bad for business if we don’t let you go
[ 2009.12.11 18:52:13 ] Saria Dehmov > exactly
[ 2009.12.11 18:52:18 ] Merii Kha’sen > so that’s how you know we’ll let you go
[ 2009.12.11 18:52:22 ] Saria Dehmov > Rep is rather important or no one pays:)
[ 2009.12.11 18:52:45 ] horpaskron > hmk
[ 2009.12.11 18:52:52 ] horpaskron > i´ll pay the other 25
[ 2009.12.11 18:53:00 ] Saria Dehmov > Thank you.
[ 2009.12.11 18:53:11 ] horpaskron > you got it

Oh dear. It’s ninja time! Note – it’s not bad for my business really. Just for lowsec/0.0 pirates who try to use that to justify ransoms to their targets.

[ 2009.12.11 18:53:25 ] Merii Kha’sen > SUDDENLY
[ 2009.12.11 18:53:26 ] Merii Kha’sen > BETRAYAL
[ 2009.12.11 18:53:28 ] Saria Dehmov > and thanks for the loot
[ 2009.12.11 18:53:33 ] Merii Kha’sen > Vengeance is a cruel mistress.
[ 2009.12.11 18:53:51 ] horpaskron > thought yo´d do that^^
[ 2009.12.11 18:54:08 ] Saria Dehmov > sometimes yes sometimes no
[ 2009.12.11 18:54:14 ] Saria Dehmov > cockyness kinda tips the scales
[ 2009.12.11 18:54:17 ] Merii Kha’sen > You just got ninja’d, son.
[ 2009.12.11 18:54:30 ] horpaskron > so gf^^ fly safe

I love dishonoring ransoms. So much. The Apocalypse pops a few seconds later, still being drained of cap and unable to retaliate. The pod warps off shortly thereafter.

The only thing left is the cleanup, at that point.

A few minutes later, this lovely evemail gets sent to Saria:

From: horpaskron
Sent: 2009.12.11 19:17
To: Saria Dehmov,

Well, im really sorry I paid you. this is the one thing that realy gets to me^^ Should have known better. Well,. til next time. hopefully with changed roles^^

Oh and by the way: I still ain´t mad at ya, so no swearing, flaming or something^^ you taught me a valuable lesson at least^^

Best regards
Horp

Oh snap, delicious tears to top it off. “Hopefully with changed roles.” Bwahahaha. A perfect end to a two hour saga of asskicking.

fuck off
From: Milena Kenatue
Sent: 2009.12.05 23:38
To: Merii Kha’sen,

screw u

I replied:

Re: fuck off
From: Merii Kha’sen
Sent: 2009.12.05 23:38
To: Milena Kenatue,

NO U

Milena then warped off. Try it next time!

There’s a repeat “customer” of my services that I see a lot – a bloke going by the name of “edeity”. I’ve salvaged his missions twice now, and as I undock in my Executioner, I see him undock. He’s one of those guys that shoots at ninjas, then runs before they come back. Curious, I watch where he warps off too as I wait the 30 seconds to redock for my Anathema.

A quick set of scans later and I’ve got him narrowed down to a point a bit below the ecliptic. Re-docking, I swap to the Executioner and roar off to his mission. It appears to be a Mining Misappropriation, Level 4. I start salvaging and he locks me up. Good so far. Sliding past one of the Battleship wrecks, I grab a Tachyon Beam Laser I – that’ll fetch nearly a million ISK, no matter what else I get.

Yes! He opens fire as I align to the station. Warping out, I dock as fast as I can, screaming for Scotty to get his butt in gear and get my Armageddon ready for battle. 30 excruciatingly slow seconds later, I’m undocking, then aligning out. A few moments later, I’m pulling into the mission with a blinking red Apocalypse 3000 meters off to the left. Starting target lock, I enable all the requisite awesome modules – warp scrambler, webber, nosferatu, guns. Additional firepower comes in the form of 5 Berserker IIs that flash out of my dronebay and hover menacingly for a bare half-second before the target lock resolves and they scream after the awesome pulses of power from my lasers.

The actual fight is hardly worth mentioning – He doesn’t even get me through shields before he’s into structure, popping as he does the first flash of damage to my hull. The best damage of all was his hit to my shields:

[ 2009.12.05 05:34:29 ] (combat) Mega Modulated Energy Beam I belonging to edeity heavily hits you, inflicting 1839.3 damage.

Mind you, this is less than a quarter shields on an Armageddon. On the other hand, my lasers and drones tore him apart in short order, leaving a drifting wreck full of Apocalypse loot.

His response to the carnage?

edeity > cockhead

The fun doesn’t end there, though. Just for kicks, I wanted to finish salvaging the mission, including his Apocalypse wreck. Said wreck yielded 16 Armor Plates, at 200k ISK each. Quite a bonus!

Don’t shoot ninjas. Bad things happen.

After the 3rd Large wreck, the Abaddon warps back in, this time on the mission objective can, then locks me up and drops drones. I move closer, just to see if he’ll take the bait. He does. IT’S ARMAGEDDON TIME. I bookmark a wreck next to him and warp out.

I quick-like jumpback to Penirgman, roaring over to the station there and dropping my pod into my Armageddon. A quick check of the laser systems, a swap out of the Berserkers for Ogres (this was a mission with lots of Explosive damage from the Macharial-flying NPCs) and I’m out again, cursing the slow align speed of my Armageddon.

Getting back into Orkashu, I warp in, enabling hardeners and DCU as I go. This should be a fun fight – an unprepared Abaddon versus my finely honed Armageddon. Arriving at the mission, I find him 25km off of my bookmark, motoring toward another wreck at a stately 102 m/s. This just won’t do. Overloading my Warp Disruptor II, I slap it on him as my lock resolves, ensuring he can’t go far. At 114 m/s, I’m barely faster than him, but I start to close the range. My lasers are happy at this range, too – 24km is right inside my Scorch optimal, purple lines lancing out to spear shields, then armor away from the floundering Abaddon. I’m actually quite surprised at how well a Battleship overloads – I get a full 5 cycles out of my warp disruptor before any heat damage registers.

Getting inside 23km, I bring my warp disruptor back to normal power, but as I’ve chewed through most of his armor, I send him a conversation request. I want to see if I can ransom him.

Merii Kha’sen > cease fire immediately
Merii Kha’sen > 100m for your ship
Merii Kha’sen > you have 30 sec
Baul Baulinea > stop
Merii Kha’sen > I repeat
Merii Kha’sen > 100m
Merii Kha’sen > you have 30 sec

He actually does cease fire. Amazing. He doesn’t reply after 30 sec, though, so I open fire again.

Merii Kha’sen > no?
Baul Baulinea > what

Aha, there we go.

Merii Kha’sen > 100 million isk
Merii Kha’sen > or your ship dies
Baul Baulinea > yes
Merii Kha’sen > transfer it NOW
Baul Baulinea > mom

MOMMY! MERII’S BEATING UP MY ABADDON.

Baul Baulinea > i have 70mio
Merii Kha’sen > eject from your ship then
Baul Baulinea > by this char
Merii Kha’sen > I’ll return the hull sans modules
Merii Kha’sen > also, stop immediately.

Ah, the old “I don’t have it” gag. He does stop, though, letting me get closer and switch to Conflagration L.

Merii Kha’sen > also, stop immediately.
Merii Kha’sen > good boy.
Baul Baulinea > stop i can give you
Baul Baulinea > what i have
Merii Kha’sen > fair enough
Merii Kha’sen > as I said, you have 30 sec to transfer.

Blinky, blinky, blink! My wallet is happy now. 70m confirmed. I’m a terrible person, though. F1.

Merii Kha’sen > SUDDENLY
Baul Baulinea > thats all i have
Merii Kha’sen > BETRAYAL
Merii Kha’sen > Vengeance is a cruel mistress.

Green beams and Ogre IIs tear the ship apart, leaving an Abaddon Wreck floating in space. Cool loot, bro! Also, the Damsel! Nice. This’ll fetch 20m on Contracts.

I zip back to the station with my goods, then go put up a Contract with the Damsel. It’s always good practice to do this, because if you don’t, the GMs may give them the mission items anyway, because just taking the items without offering them back is “grief play.” I mail him a copy of the contract just for giggles.

He accepts it. So, just to recap: that’s 70m for the ransom, 20m for the contract, then at least 50m from the loot… happy day!

Now, the tears start.

2009.11.26 18:15
i give you all my isk why you destroy my ship ?

Reply: You just got ninja’d, son!

2009.11.26 18:24
i;am reaktivate my charakter today, and now i can not fly any missions , sry but this is very bad 4me, and for you this isk is not to much, when
you have a little bit heart y will give me minimum this isk back

greatings Baul

Man, don’t shoot at ninjas. Bad things happen. Reply:

;_;

His response:

2009.11.26 18:35
funny, but i;am not crying , 4me this is only a game,
have fun with this
only what i think is, one man one word, but you are no man, you a woman

If you like this… well, we’re still recruiting!

I somehow managed to gain a global criminal countdown in 0.9 space while I waited for a target to come back to a mission.

Ship log shows the following:

03:28:44 Notify You have started trying to warp scramble Centii Loyal Savage Wreck [V-VOX]&lt;AM&gt;’Centii Loyal Savage Wreck’(Sanshas Small Wreck).

Next log message:

03:34:41 Notify Faint Warp Disruptor I deactivates because its target, Centii Loyal Savage Wreck, is not locked.
03:34:44 Notify Warping to Penirgman IX – Moon 3 – Ministry of Internal Order Assembly Plant prior to making docking attempt
03:35:22 Info You are a criminal and this station will not allow you to dock. The criminal timer will run out in 14 minutes and 18 seconds.

This was when I panicked and warped because I saw the red GCC timer appear. I was in a Vengeance (Amarr Assault Frigate) at the time.

Yes, you low sec hands will tell me warping to a station is not a good idea, but I’m a high sec bunny, so I don’t have the same reflexes when I see red in the upper-left corner.

Hmm, scary…

BUT WHO WAS CONCORD?!

I accidentally CONCORD, I guess. Oh well. The GM response was to file a bug report, so apparently I didn’t evade CONCORD, which is a banning offense.

zeno shanye > fuck you Merii Kha’sen

Oh noes!

zeno shanye > Merii Kha’sen is a thief,disgusting.He is a irritating guy

Aww, thanks.

zeno shanye > Merii Kha’sen ,Your mother is a bitch?

No, but thanks for asking.

Zeno keeps warping out, thinking the mass of cruisers and light missile batteries will hurt me. They do, actually, but shields are holding at ~50%. I finish salvaging and collect some further loot.

I get a convo request from Ni’Kuth. Expecting rage and threats, I accept. I’m pleasantly surprised instead.

Merii Kha’sen > Heya
Ni’Kuth > hiya judging from the comments in local you wouldnt be the local can flipper would ya?
Ni’Kuth > cause there is a mina geddon in v 1
Merii Kha’sen > I’m ninja salvaging, not can flipping.
Merii Kha’sen > you don’t say
Ni’Kuth > ah
Ni’Kuth > kk
Merii Kha’sen > I’m on it
Merii Kha’sen > This had better not be a trap.
Merii Kha’sen >
Ni’Kuth > just giving you a heads up regardless
Ni’Kuth > shrug
Ni’Kuth > count the lasers
Merii Kha’sen > Fair nuff
Merii Kha’sen > not much a geddon can do to a frig anyway
Merii Kha’sen > psh, he doesn’t have a can out.
Merii Kha’sen > thanks!
Ni’Kuth > bleah sorry for wasting your time then, i just spotted him while warpin in/out
Merii Kha’sen > xD
Ni’Kuth > happy hunting
Merii Kha’sen > I’ll wait.

I like ninja-friends, but the geddon doesn’t pan out.

I go AFK for a few minutes, then come back and undock to this:

Awesome that he’d go to such trouble just to put those out. I did, of course, steal the single Scourge heavy missile in each one.